Life has changed, but not ended.

It's a line that's recited at all Catholic funeral services. It's a good reminder especially when things don't go as planned or we find ourselves in great despair or just overwhelming situations.

I guess that's the thing about anything challenging, draining, humbling, or difficult. We will definitely be changed by these experiences. But it could be for the worse, if we keep acting like it is the end; acting like there's no hope.

The way I see it, if hope is lost, so goes the will to make life worth living. I guess it comes down to a couple of things. Of course it always comes down to the individual to choose hope over despair. Secondly, it's those who care for the person to not just remind them to hope, but to be a concrete example of what hope is. Something tangible, real and just as human as they are.

I do know that a lot of people out there need hope. There just might not be as many people to bring it.

The way I see it, her imagination is like the wind. But her identity is the sails on the ship that will get her to where she wants to be. To take this example further, essentially I'm the lead engineer in making sure those sails stay upright and strong.

So to my Audrey, If ever you read this, know that no matter where the wind takes you on this journey, know that I'll always be your first mate. Always.

If I could describe my life at this moment, I would use this picture.

Thanks to Benjie for capturing it.

It hasn't been a pretty journey to understand all of these things. Sadly, a lot of people have had to deal with the stuff I didn't realize I was doing. I didn't have a grasp of who I was, or the person I wanted to be.

The way I figure it, at the end of day I'm the one who has to go to bed with myself (so to speak). I think it's a good rule of thumb to know who you're getting into bed with.

It may not sound as prestigious as 25 years or even 10 years. But it's an amazing milestone nonetheless.

Happy 2 Years to us.

Our 1st Year Anniversary was really low-key simply because our Audrey was only about 3 months old and very dependent on us. Now that she's roughly 15 months, she's big enough to be handle herself brilliantly especially with the assistance of her grandma and grandpa.

So the agenda for this Saturday is as follows...

• We're going to SCHOOL for Brunch
• Getting cultured by the "Jersey Boys"
• Settling down with some Soul Food at "N'awlins" (like New Orleans)

All this set to the background of the Downtown Toronto Urban backdrop.

Now if only the sun could just emit a little more heat...

butcheee.com is back again. It's been about 4 months since anything substantial has been posted here.

But I'm back with a vengeful fury (or a fury of vengeance) just trying to get a few online things working properly. With so many social media outlets to post on, I'm trying to simplify the amount of places I have to post, but still getting them to all outlets. You're probably like... "what a geek!" But don't hate my friend, because I know you have a facebook account and  twitter account you use to stalk people.

Anyhow... if you don't know already here's the new set-up:

1. butcheee.com is still the number one source for all things Efren Baria.
2. butcheee.tumblr.com is your number one source for all things that Efren Baria finds cool, weird, twitter-able, and all the in-between. My blogs from butcheee.com are posted here automatically as well.
3. I've just started a blog with my wife at graceandefren.com. This is kind of a documentation project, just to archive our memories, conversations, inspirations and our lives. Within the 4+ years we've been together, we've seen a progressive change in our relationship, and we think it'd be nice for our daughter (and any future kids) to see how we've grown into this family life.

We've also got Flickr for photos and Twitter for randomness and updates regarding any of the above blogs.

Now... time to get outside and document something worthwhile to post. Cheers!

Love is responsibility.

In the giving, in the receiving, in the nurturing of it, there should be a deep sense of accountability.

Things fall apart, when all we do is point fingers at everybody else but ourselves.

We all have it within us to be a Drama Queen. Some more than others of course. And over the years, I've seen (a few) people change from"Best Dramatic Actor/Actress in a Leading Role" to "Best Director (of their emotions)." The one thing that helped the growth was humility, which would eventually lead to Self-Awareness.

Through my profession I've dealt with teenagers, young adults, young adults who still think they're teenagers and teenagers that think they're adults. I've realized that some people unknowingly through their actions, attitudes and choices, really put themselves in positions of victimhood. This ultimately of course leads to the drama in their life. The longer you choose to be a victim, the more you prolong the drama. It's a simple equation.

I've spent so many of my years being in the audience watching these drama-filled situations unfold. Some for the better and some for the worse. I've seen good hearted people become jaded but not wiser. I've seen insecure people compensate in the most heinous ways.

Like I mentioned earlier, the solution is simple for those wishing to end their reign as Drama Queen (in whatever area of your life.) You just need HUMILITY. When you have a large dose of this bitter pie, you begin to find out that you can't control every situation. That most sometimes you are to blame as well. That emo attitude, really doesn't do anyone good (especially yourself), and lastly and most importantly is that you need to be honest with the choices you've made. People choose drama. Be it the situations they put themselves in, the people they surround themselves with, and the attitudes/emotions/habits that they don't put in check.

So please... if you are a drama queen, we're waiting on you to Take a bow. Close the curtains. Take off the make-up and costumes and let the show be over with. Let's stop acting, and let's live life for real.

6 years is a long time. Lots can happen in 6 years, and a lot has. I've been reading some of my archives, and reminiscing and trying to remember where I was at the time of these old blog posts. On a spiritual level, an intellectual level and on an emotional level.

I thought looking back at some of these interesting posts, that it would be fun to deepen them or analyze them further. So I'll be reposting some of them, with new insights and comments. I've experienced and learned so much since some of these posts were published, I feel it would only be right to take a second look through wiser eyes.

Reflection is a good thing. It helps us remember the journey we've experienced... and sometimes that can lead to some answers for the future.